AHHH. Donuts. . . What can't they do.

I am not crazy. It's the TV that's crazy. Aren't you, TV?

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

Chief justice of the supreme court. What great men he would join - John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Berger, mmmm burger

If you're going to get mad at me everytime I do something stupid then I guess I'll have to stop doing stupid things!

I'm not telling you, 'Never eat a hamburger.' Just eat the good ones with real beef, you know, like the ones from that mom-and-pop diner down the street, ... And it's so good that when you take a bite out of that burger, you just know somewhere in the world a vegan is crying.

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.

A hundred bucks for a comic book? Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo?

Flanders: I think we hit something. Homer: I hope it's Flanders

Boy , Moe, that team sure sucked last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.